Fatherhood

Freddy, Jamhuri High School (99) made me believe High School was fun. He is now a religious brother. However, it is his escapades then that made me realize it wasn’t as bad as it was made to sound. In fact he made me have an inkling of what high school was all about. Instead of guiding me through puberty as my mum requested of him(being a single mom), he just put it out there that he din’t struggle through adolescence. The funny thing is, I did not either. I believe since he made it such a small deal, I din’t see the need to stress about it. True, I could see class 8s and form 2s go through their hormonal moments. I did not.

After KCPE is when you find out you have no clue as to what the next stage of life is all about. At least in my case. I had, and still do, lived a contained life. My interactions could not suffice to provide such knowledge as is gleamed when boys hang out with bro ya Kamash. Ergo, why Freddy stands out. His stories, and dyed hair are what gave me an idea of what it entailed and that made all the difference.

I am that kind of person. I want to have an idea before I leap. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t take time to hear the details, the basics will do. I will ask you about how to operate the parachute when we are mid-air. Ask Ujo.

Call it quarter-life crisis but due to my choice to concentrate on music, and writing, I have been rubbing my folks the wrong way. Sometimes one gets through such moments, knowing that their fears (I spend time with other people’s daughters every night and not at studio as I claim) are far-fetched and irrational.

Other times however, it hits you that they could be right. That your friend who you met at the Junction the other day is now about to be promoted to PR Manager for Harun Mwau simply because he started off the blocks immediately after graduation while you were still trying out this writing/music thing.

At such moments I begin wondering where my baby(small, tiny, baby) will sleep and what he will eat when I am 30. I wonder what my wife will think of me when this dream proves to be just that, a dream that I need to wake up from.

Pssst! Most of the people I graduated with are now going through that stage. Where you see photos and updates on facebook-engaged, married, with baby etc. No,I am serious. It starts hitting you that you are next. My 35-year old uncle is yet to marry though. Some consolation. He keeps my grandmother too worried to start throwing those hints. Plus he is breaking the psychological barrier.

I digressed, (hence the psst) There is no salvation at that point, just some few cling-ons that keep you sane as you try to figure out what to tell yourself to soothe your spirit.

I however bumped into Biko Zulu’s blog. He provides those once in a lifetime moments when you realize being old can be cool. Last time I felt that, I was reading Wasonga’s article on Pudding. Before then, it was listening to Jamo on Hopefm. 

These people make you realize, it can all be taken in stride. Which you know, just that you tend to forget. If I have never asked my readers to do anything (buy tickets to a Lele concert or read Sharon’s blog) then do read this blog. For the sake of fulfilling your psychological need for credibility, it was nominated for a BAKE Award in the same category as Crazy Nairobian. It is read by great bloggers a la Karaymi and Mrs.Mwiti.

Think of the people who helped you move from one point to the next and be grateful. Later!